Permission To Enjoy

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Joy

Have you had moments like this?

You’re slightly sunburnt, fresh out of the shower, sitting outside — and everything just feels still. Peaceful. Like there’s nothing to fix, nothing to chase, nothing to become.

There’s no problem now. Just presence. Just life.

We may often find ourselves caught up in the rhythm of routine, constantly thinking about growth, building something, becoming someone. And yes, there’s beauty and necessity in those seasons. But the real magic lies in balancing that drive with the ability to pause and truly see the little moments for what they are: a gift.

Life. And somehow, we forget that it’s exactly that.

We get used to it — numb to the miracle that we only get one. One chance to feel it all. One body. One breath at a time.

And I started to wonder: why did I feel like I had to earn the right to enjoy my life?

Why did I believe that rest or joy had to be justified by hard work, struggle, or pain? Even during times when I wasn’t struggling, I still carried the belief that I owed someone a hardship first. That bliss had to be balanced with burnout. But who was keeping score? Where did this guilt even come from?

And more importantly… Can we let it go?

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Recently, we stayed in a surf shack on Balangan Beach. Our bedroom overlooked the ocean. Beneath us, a tiny restaurant and surfboard rental — just a few steps down from our door. Every time we walked through, we were met with people simply enjoying the view. Surfers in the distance. Locals running the place, chatting with ease. Yes, they were working, but there was no urgency. No stress. No one rushing. Just calm presence.

It felt like the opposite of what many of us may have grown up around.

We don’t need to overwork ourselves to deserve rest. We don’t need to prove our worth by pushing ourselves to the edge.

Our surf instructor, Angga, reminded us of this. The sweetest soul, we got to know him during a few hours in the ocean. He shared how much he loves what he does — that teaching people to surf never feels like work to him. He once worked in a restaurant that paid a bit more, but it drained him. Now, he makes slightly less but lives with more peace, more freedom, more joy. He chose fulfillment over pressure, and that small shift changed everything.

That choice might not be for everyone. But it’s a reminder that we can choose.

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Back home in the U.S., when I tell people I’m a barista, I sometimes feel like I need to add a footnote. Especially to older generations — like they’re waiting for the “real” plan. But here? When I say I’m a barista, people smile. They talk about how much they love coffee. How fun that must be. It feels lighter. Freer. Just a job — not an identity.

Our work doesn’t need to define us. It can simply support the life we want to live.

Right now, for me, that means work that allows me to travel. For someone else, it might be stability, creativity, or time at home with family. It looks different for everyone, and that’s the beauty of it.

I know that doing the same thing forever doesn’t excite me. I crave the freedom to evolve — to try new things, to let my work shift as I grow. That change feels natural, not flaky. It’s honest.

Even the idea of “pushing yourself” is different for everyone. What challenges me might feel like ease to someone else. And that’s okay.

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We don’t need to prove anything.

Not with a title, a car, an outfit, or a perfectly curated image. None of those things will finally give me permission to enjoy my life. Joy isn’t something we need to earn. It’s something we can allow — right here, right now.

So if you’re feeling like you’ve got something to prove, we hope you remember this: You can give yourself permission to enjoy your life. Exactly as it is. At this moment.

You don’t need to punish yourself first. You don’t need to hustle for happiness.

Here are a few mantras I’ve been coming back to — maybe they’ll feel good to you too:

I am deserving of happiness

I have nothing to prove

I don’t need to be everything to everyone

I honor and cherish my life

I treat myself with grace and understanding