Leanza’s Way—
owning your path & starting again
Leanza’s story is a reminder that the bravest thing we can do is listen to ourselves. Her journey shows what can happen when you stop living the life others expect and start living the one you’re meant for. She leaves us not only with her story, but with advice on how to begin your own.
There’s something beautiful that is present in childhood that many of us lose little by little as we grow up: The courage to lean into our intuition and the bravery it takes to live a life that we truly love.
Do you remember as a child doing things just because you wanted to, without much of a fear of failure and without the pressure to be perfect? I am lucky enough to currently work with many different children and seeing this still in its pure state is a beautiful and healing experience, but I am getting ahead of myself…
Considering each of us have walked such different paths, the age at which this shift occurs isn’t uniform but the effect unfortunately is. We transform from being curious, adventurous, and unique to eventually most of us striving for variations of the exact same life (especially in U.S. culture). But is this life path suited for everyone? If we all were such wild and different children, is it possible we are all set for the exact same path: university, life-long career, marriage, house, children, retirement, travel (if you’re lucky), death.
I have always been someone who performs well under pressure. Despite this, I was in a constant battle with myself. I knew I could excel at the cookie-cutter life expected of us in U.S. culture, but I always struggled to identify myself with that path.
When I was 18, I left the country for the first time, to move to the Czech Republic for one year, simply because that opportunity called me in a inexplicable way. I justified it as a great resume builder and returned to the U.S. to complete my degree. It was easy to tell myself I was successful when I graduated with a science degree with highest honors, awards and an immediate internship in my field. I also was locked into a very serious three-year relationship. It was all perfect on paper. I could see the comfortable life ahead of me, laid out beautifully. And somehow, it didn’t feel perfect.
After my internship, I declined all job offers, quit my field, broke up with my partner of four years and moved back in with my parents at age 25. Some said it was a quarter-life crisis. Some said it was self-sabotage. It was difficult and uncomfortable, but I reminded myself that those who were criticizing me were not living lives that I desired to live anyway. I discovered I wasn’t in alignment with myself and I couldn’t endure that for the rest of my life.
So I restarted.
I was a server in a restaurant again. I saved money and traveled, often. Every year I left for two trips, lasting anywhere from one month to three months, immersed in another country and culture. It gave me the space to re-align myself with what my path was meant to be.
I decided to teach myself Spanish, because I wanted to. This work/travel cycle continued for three years. Then five days after my 28th birthday, I moved to Spain to teach English. People asked, why Spain? Why teaching? Because my life path called, and I answered.
I stopped suppressing what was meant for me, and instead I embraced it. I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared. I was terrified. Moving to another country is not as glamorous as it looks, logistically it is very tough. But I kept pushing because while my anxiety tried to stop me, my intuition guided me.
And the best part is, my story has only just begun.
When you follow the path that is meant for you, you won’t know how it’s going to work out, you just kow that it will. It will no longer feel like this long hallway, that you slowly walk through with only an archway separating the one part of the hallway to the next. Instead, you’re in a room with multiple doors to choose from, unable to see what’s on the other side but all are unlocked and able to open. You can move through them and find another room with more doors, you can come back if you need, it’s just full of endless potential when you’re in alignment with yourself. Scary, exciting, terrifying, fulfilling.
How to get there though?
My advice, recognize and accept the following:
Life paths aren’t linear (or comparable)
Money comes and goes, time is the only currency we can’t get back
Something is only embarrassing if you let it embarrass you
Change is the enemy of comfortability, and comfortability is the enemy of growth → allowing change = allowing uncomfortability = allowing growth (give yourself permission to change your path)
And finally:
The difference between those who are courageous or brave and those who aren’t isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the presence of fear and the willingness to do it anyway. Be bold. Be different. Be courageous enough to live the life that you love, before all that remains is regret. It’s never too late.
I wish you all the best in this life, you deserve it <3
Leanza