What 25 Taught Me at a Key West Bar
Our dear friend McKenzie has a way of putting her heart into words that feel both raw and grounding. This piece is a glimpse into her turning point at 25 — a reminder that change, though scary, can lead us closer to the life we’re meant to live.
I am sitting at Captain Tony’s on the eve of my 25th birthday. The bar is named after Captain Tony Tarracino — a sea captain, bartender, mayor, gun smuggler, etc. I came straight from the beach as I watched the sun set on the most difficult year of my life.
A couple of guys sit at the barstool next to mine and proceed to be IDed and kicked out. The band is playing Landslide and I start to cry. They didn’t even ID me! I am certain that I can’t handle the seasons of my life.
A couple of moments and drinks later, a pair of traveling fishermen remind me that there are many ways to pursue a life. I need this reminder two thousand times a day as I try to navigate my now mid-twenties. As I watch people around me start to pursue stability, I still desire the freedom to change and to pack up my whole life on a whim.
The fishermen told me about their travels around the world and about Madrid, the city I will soon find myself in. They bought me drinks and told me they were certain we would meet again, though we didn’t exchange information. (Sometimes it’s more beautiful to allow God to bring you people when you most need them & leave it up to fate to be reunited.)
I decided to move to Spain in February as I stood in the middle of a life that was in direct opposition to my values. I was horrified by the events happening in the United States and felt paralyzed by my inability to support the communities my country is targeting. I asked God to bring changes to my country and to my life. I am certain that God sees no difference between people based on their geographical luck.
This summer I have been teaching English to immigrant communities both in and outside of the United States. Their persistence to pursue an education despite war, poverty, sexism, racism, and unfair immigration policies is the most courageous act I have ever witnessed. While I have an overdramatic crisis about turning 25, my student of the same age takes online English classes from her basement because it is the only education she can safely pursue.
In January, I will leave home. I will once again move to a foreign country by myself in the pursuit of education, freedom, & connection to the global community. I worked and prayed for the changes that are now making me cry at the bar. (My ability to leave is a result of my immense privilege).
Still, I have been here before. I have felt stuck in a life that does not reflect me — but also scared and sad to leave home, people, this version of myself. As I get older the leaving and changing becomes harder. Though every time I trust my innermost knowing, I am rewarded with broader horizons, new people to know & love, and a better version of myself.
The legend of Captain Tony, my new fisherman friends, and my students give me the courage to move forward toward a life I feel reflects myself and the world I want to live in.
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A huge thank you to Kenzie for sharing her heart and her story with us. May her words remind us all to keep choosing the kind of life that feels true, even when it’s hard — and to hold onto hope that change can carry us closer to who we’re meant to be.